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Chuck Norris Programmer Facts – part 2

Written by: Dan C, on 2013-02-27

Chuck Norris’ programs never exit, they terminate!

Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

Chuck Norris does not sort. He creates order!

All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return.

The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

Chuck Norris does not sort. He gives a name, and the searched data steps forward.

No one has ever pair-programmed with Chuck Norris and lived to tell about it.

Chuck Norris types with 1 finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.

Chuck Norris does need specifications. He has a technical writer to describe what he had done.

Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.

Chuck Norris programs occupy 150% of CPU, even when they are not executing.

Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.

Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.

“It works on my machine” is always true for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.

Chuck Norris’s beard can type 160 wpm.

Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

Chuck Norris doesn’t do bug hunting as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

To Chuck Norris, everything contains a vulnerability.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need sudo, he just types “Chuck Norris”.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need a debugger, he just stares down until the code confesses.

Chuck Norris solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time. Here’s the pseudo-code:

      Break salesman into N pieces.
      Kick each piece to a different city.

 Also see Chuck Norris Programmer Facts – part 1