– CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980
– Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF…
– Artificial intelligence beats real stupidity.
– Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers.
– What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte.
– Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can’t C#.
– A programmer had a problem, he decided to use threads. now two has . He Problems.
– A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history.
– There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
– A wife calls her programmer husband and tells him, “While you’re out, buy some milk.” He never returns home.
– I had a dream… and there were 1’s and 0’s everywhere, and I think I saw a 2!
– Q: What is the difference between “String” and “Thread”? A: In which language?
– If you don’t succeed at first try, just call it version 1.0.
– The truth is out there. Anybody got the URL?
– Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google
– The box said “Requires Windows XP or better”. So I installed LINUX.
– Computers make very fast and very accurate mistakes.
– A penny saved is 1.39 cents earned, if you consider income tax.
– Database Admins walked into a NoSQL bar. A little later they walked out because they couldn’t find a table
– The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
– Ask a programmer to review 10 lines of code, he’ll find 10 issues. Ask him to do 500 lines and he’ll say it all looks good.
– Facebook went public because they couldn’t figure out the privacy settings.
– Everytime I time I touch my code, I give birth to ten new bugs.
– When you run a VM inside another VM, inside another VM, inside another VM…, everything runs real slow – is the right way to explain the movie Inception to a programmer.
– Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!
– Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources.
– To error is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more human.
– I’m sorry, my software is perfect. You must be the problem.
– If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
– Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with any of your Microsoft products.
– Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer.
– “Mr. Worf, scan that ship.” “Aye Captain. 300 dpi?”
– “Knock, knock.”
very long pause….